1. December 1995 - I was now on my own

I was now on my own.  Gabe, my then husband, had up and left me on Christmas Eve day bound for Florida.  How would I ever make it by myself?  I remember waking up and feeling like I had sunk into a big black hole.  Where was everyone?  Who could I call?  I walked around the restaurant and felt the responsibility of running it without Gabe crash and fall all over me.  How was I going to do it?  I thought about my mom.  She was in Madison, Wisconsin visiting my sister's kids.  I checked the time; it didn't matter.  I picked up the phone and dialed the number.  My sister's voice came on the phone.  "Hello".  "Judy, it's Sue.  Is mom there?'  I wanted to hear the familiar comforting voice of my mother.  "Ma, it's for you", I heard her say.  "It's Sue."  I fell apart and began sobbing.  What was I going to do?  How was I going to continue?  My mother was comforting but firm saying that I would be alright.  "Do you want me to come home?"  I wanted her to come home, but it wouldn't be right.  It was Christmas.  The cost of the tickets would be exorbitant.  That wouldn't make sense.  What the heck made sense?  "No.  I'll be OK." I sobbed.  "Are you sure?  I'll come home if you want, Sue."  "Tell her she'll get over it!" I heard my sister's voice in the back ground.  "Are you sure you don't want me to come home?  I will if you need me."  It was my mother talking over my sister's voice.  "No, I'll be OK.  I just needed to hear your voice.  I'll see you in a few days."  I hung up the phone.